


Eve Young, Antichrist and Cenophobic

by Madoshi_Hikari



Series: Eve Lucille Young [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, But not a Good Person, Crack Treated Seriously, Eve Lucille Young, Eve doesn't actually know, Gen, Liberal Abuse Of Antichrist Mojo, Lucifer Gets Therapy, Lucifer is a good dad, Maybe - Freeform, female Adam Young
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:07:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23246005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madoshi_Hikari/pseuds/Madoshi_Hikari
Summary: She wakes up on the backseat of a Bentley with Queen pumping through the speakers to the sound of a demon cursing her existence.Ah, she thinks, so there's something to that 'Life After Death' thing after all.She's pretty sure the Almighty didn't think this through.
Series: Eve Lucille Young [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1671406
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	Eve Young, Antichrist and Cenophobic

She has a problem.

Her name is Eve Young.

It’s definitely not her actual name, mind you, but she’s a toddler named Eve Lucille Young.

Not that reincarnation is the problem in this scenario – far from it. She’s rather grateful she got a second chance at life, given that her previous was unexpectedly cut short when a pickpocket pushed her onto the underground tracks.

No, the problem here is that she’s the _Antichrist._

She knew this mainly because when she’d first woken up, before she’d even received her name, she’d found herself on the back-seat of one Anthony J. Crowley’s Bentley – played by David Tennant, thank… well, God, she guesses. Though she’s not too sure She thought this entirely through. Crowley had been swearing, rather loudly, over the sounds of Bohemian Rhapsody.

It had been disorienting, to say the least.

Eve had asked herself, lying in her cot in the Youngs' home, if she should emulate Adam. The idea had been quickly discarded, especially when she remembered she was scared as anything of dogs, not to mention absolute rubbish at making friends.

She _really_ hopes she won’t be swallowed up by her Destiny like her male counterpart was, but given that Eve’s aware of it, she’s pretty sure she’ll have an easier go at it.

The fact that she has the emotional maturity of a twenty-seven-year-old will likely help.

* * *

So, as the years go by, Eve Lucille Young grows up a rather happy little girl, not much stranger than other autistic children her age. She’d gotten diagnosed by a doctor in London, where the Youngs had moved after much needling.

Right now, she was seven years old and had just snuck off during lunch break to catch a ride to Soho. She just hoped that Aziraphale was home. In case he wasn’t, she’d written a small letter to fit under the door.

The angel was, in fact, not home. Eve took a moment to smack a palm to her forehead. _Right. Warlock… or whatever her name is._

Wait. Did the forces of Heaven and Hell know the Antichrist was female? Eve hoped they did, considering her biological father and the correspondence between Michael and Ligur.

Either way, she slid her letter under the bookshop’s door and hoped it wouldn’t give Aziraphale too big a frighten.

_ Hello Mr. Aziraphale, _

_ My name is Eve Young. Well, Eve Lucille Young. _

_ I’m not quite sure  _ what _the Almighty was thinking when She shoved my soul into the Antichrist, but as you may have guessed, that’s who I am!_

_ Sorry if this is too sudden. _

_ I  _ can  _assure you I have no intentions of ending the world! I’m quite enjoying my second chance a life, really. Still haven’t got rid of my Cynophobia, though that’s probably for the best._

_ I’m not sure when you’ll find this letter, since you’re currently raising the wrong child, if I remember right. _

_ I wonder if my existence means The Nice and Accurate Prophecies are wrong now… have they changed? I  _ did  _see Anathema at St. James’ once…_

_ Oh. How did I manage to ramble  _ on paper _?_

_ Anyway, we live near Mr. Crowley’s flat, I’ve seen the Bentley a few times. I do hope I didn’t use my powers to make sure I got to live near him… _

_ Well, anyway. Please come find me as soon as possible! I’d love to chat and figure out what in Heaven’s … Hell’s? … Manchester’s name I’m supposed to do so I don’t accidentally start Armageddon. _

_ -Eve Lucille Young, Reincarnation from another dimension and unfortunately Antichrist _

* * *

It had taken several years, not that Eve had really expected differently, but the day after her eleventh birthday (and a very chastised hell-hound she’d sent off to find a nice owner, very deliberately _not naming it_ ), a rather shaken Aziraphale showed up with Crowley in tow at her flat.

Eve beamed at them. “Great, you found my letter!”

“Angel, what’s she talking about?” Crowley scrunches his eyebrows together and the Antichrist sighed loudly.

“You just dragged him here without explaining, Mr. Aziraphale? That’s kind of rude for an angel – then again, Mr. Crowley’s a demon, so maybe, in this case, you’re allowed…”

At this point, she had to giggle, because both of them really looked rather baffled. “Sorry, sorry! I’m the Antichrist. You probably noticed you watched over the wrong child when that hell-hound from yesterday didn’t show up. Is it a boy or a girl? Because if Lucifer doesn’t even know he had a daughter, I might go find it again so I can ask reality for a telephone line to him.”

“No, Lilith… she was a girl,” Crowley stuttered out and Eve’s smile became a touch less predatory.

“Well, that’s _something_ , anyway! My name’s Eve, by the way. Eve Young,” she grinned and waved them inside.

She was a bit old for a Nanny, and plenty mature enough to be left alone at home for a few hours after school, so Mum and Dad were at work. Which was good, this was a conversation to be held in private, after all.

“You really sent the hell-hound away?” Crowley asked when he sat[1] down.

“Yep,” Eve nods, popping the ‘p’. “I think one of the reasons I got picked for the Antichrist gig was because I’m scared of dogs.”

“Picked? Oh, your letter mentioned you were a reincarnation,” Aziraphale realised.

She was fairly sure they’re usually faster on the uptake[2] than this, but the whole scenario likely has both angel and serpent rather unbalanced.

“Yea, in my old dimension, I watched a series called Good Omens. The book was a bit dull in comparison… Anyway, both are about this dimension. Well, except the Antichrist there is a bloke called Adam who did want a dog for his birthday and things sort of went downhill from there – it ended well after everything, but it was far too close for comfort and really, quite the mess. Like this, I hope I’ll just have to keep Heaven and Hell off your backs until Lucifer has another kid … maybe I can convert them to being human, too. I’d be like a big sister! … well, or they try and find another way to start Armageddon.”

The angel and demon were  _definitely_ more than a little overwhelmed by this whole affair.

“So,” Aziraphale began tentatively. “The Almighty _really_ doesn’t want Armageddon after all?”

Eve gestured to herself in answer.

“… right then,” Crowley nodded. “The Antichrist is a human girl who so happens to have been reincarnated from a universe where ours is a book and TV show respectively. How … Ineffable. Figures. Okay. _How_ do we explain all this?”

She gave a rather helpless shrug. “Let me talk to them, maybe?”

The ineffable idiots looked at each other, then back at her and shrugged, too. “It’s a start, anyway.”

* * *

Which was how Eve found herself standing in Heaven in all it’s bureaucratic glory, in front of four very confused Archangels.

Largely because Crowley was hissing and jumping about behind her. With a sigh, Aziraphale miracled him a pair of wellies. The demon quietly thanked him.

“Hello, I’m the Antichrist!” Eve chirped.

Oh hey, now they were looking at her.

“I also happen to be a reincarnated human, which should tell you already that the Almighty doesn’t _actually_ want Armageddon to be a Thing That Happens. I sort of forgot my old name, but… Eve Young. Nice to meet you.”

“ _What_ ,” stated Gabriel in the sort of tone that conveyed confusion clearly enough that a sociopath could pick it up.

“Well, there were two mothers at the hospital, I ended up with the wrong one so I was raised human, nevermind that I was human in the first place, and I’d really rather the world didn’t end…”

Clearly, the rambling wasn’t helping matters.

“Let me clarify this – you are the Antichrist. Yet, you are human, born with another human’s soul – something only Mother can accomplish – and don’t wish for Armageddon. You see this as irrefutable proof that the Last War is not needed?” Uriel summarised.

Eve traded looks with Aziraphale and Crowley, then nodded empathically.

The Archangel of Art sighed. “Right, I  _suppose_ the logic is sound. Now, how will you convince …  _downstairs_ … of this?”

The other Archangels sputtered a bit at the blunt tone. “You mean you’re going along with-” Gabriel started.

“Oh, don’t tell me you _want_ to fight our lost brothers and sisters?” Uriel challenged.

And it was like a curtain being drawn back as Gabriel’s form slouched a bit, Sandalphon started to visibly fret and Michael scowled at her phone.

“Okay, how do we convince Lucy?” Gabriel asked and by the Almighty, Eve so wished she’d taken her own phone with her to take a picture of Crowley and Aziraphale’s face.

Actually… Eve eyed Michael’s phone. “What if I tried calling him?” she suggested.

The assembled celestial creatures seemed to consider the idea before Michael simply tossed Eve her phone. “He’s rather stubborn, so good luck.”

It occurred to Eve, around the third ring, that this was by far the most bizarre her life had ever been.

Number six, and someone picked up, Benedict Cumberbatch’s familiar bass rumbling through the speaker.

“ _What. I’m kind of busy.”_

“Hi dad!”

A stunned silence on the other end of the line.

“ _...doll?”_

“It’s Eve, actually. Um, listen… I’m kinda a reincarnation of a normal human?”

“… _seriously, Mother? Fine,_ _fine , I’ll relocate the Battle to some unpopulated planet. More than enough of them around, anyway.”_

“Really? Awesome! Um, d’you mind if Crowley doesn’t take part? I … don’t think he wants to fight.”

“ _Crow…? Oh, the little serpent with a crush on the gate guardian. Sure, he can sit out.”_

Remind her why she didn’t think to bring a camera?  _Everyone’s_ faces were pure gold.

“You’re the best – well, no, you’re _literally Satan_ , but you’re really not as bad a Dad as I’d thought you’d be.”

“ _Glad to hear it, I suppose…? Why do you like humans so much, anyway? Beyond the fact that you are one.”_

Eve could sense there was more to the question than just idle curiosity. She took a moment to think about her answer.

“… well, I like _Earth_ a whole lot. And I’m just one little girl, it’d be boring if there was only the one human ‘round. Besides, Crowley and Aziraphale like humans, too – I bet everyone else could, if they bothered to get to know some properly. Not everyone’s nice, of course, actually, not many are very nice at all, but so many of us do lots of really amazing things – it’d be a right shame to just get rid of them all.”

“… _huh. Right, mind giving the phone back to Michael? I need to talk to my sister about a few things.”_

“Uh-huh. Fair warning, though, I don’t think your siblings _actually_ want to fight you.”

“… _really? Fancy that. Okay, doll, pass the phone to your aunt. I get the feeling this is going to be a long talk – oh, and talk to the little serpent about training your powers. Without the hell-hound as a catalyst, it’s not going to be easy controlling them. Maybe have that earthbound angel hep you, too, just to be safe.”_

“I’ll do that, yea. Bye,” Eve assured her father before giving Michael (who _is_ her aunt, actually, fancy that) the phone back. “Think he wants to talk.”

Michael took it, looking a bit stunned. “… right. You three can go.”

And that’s really the end of that.

Armageddon, as her father had later phoned her again, did end up happening on a gas giant a few light years away. Not that there was a great deal of fighting – mostly just the younger angels and demons squabbling a great deal while the archangels, fallen or otherwise, actually bothered to talk.

Turns out her dad had been signed up for therapy, which he’d not been too happy about but since the rest of his siblings were insisting, he’d give it a shot.

So, Eve now had her entire life before her.

It was the first of August, her birthday had been yesterday and the world was still standing, same as ever.

Of course, being who she is, her future was going to be a right mess.

**Author's Note:**

> [1]Well, she says ‘sit’. It’s Crowley, so it’s less ‘sitting’ and more ‘sprawling bonelessly across the entire sofa’.
> 
> [2]As the experienced reader may know – they’re not.


End file.
